ABC News recently did an expose on the reasons why married women cheat, interviewing two professed female cheaters to get some insight into why women are taking that step more and more, and to see if their reasons are any different than those of men.
One participant known only as “Katherine” said that she was “looking for that next high and felt alone.”
Katherine used the Ashley Madison website to coordinate her affairs and ended up going on 50 encounters, “30 to 40” of which ended up in “some form of sexual encounter.”
The Dramatic Increase In Female Cheaters
According to ABC News, men and women used to cheat on each other at a rate of 21 percent (male) vs. 15 percent (female). In the last two decades, the number for women has climbed an astounding 40 percent, while men’s rates have gone up only nominally.
Wendy Plump, author of Vow who decided to file for divorce after three encounters with infidelity, believes that “women cheat because they are missing something, while it seems like men cheat because they want to sleep with someone else.”
Plump believes that society judges women more harshly than they do men. “Women, when they cheat, are viewed as having cheated on the family. When men cheat, they cheat on their wife,” she said.
Precursors To Cheating
If you think your wife is cheating, and it’s making you consider divorce papers, slow down just a bit and analyze the situation. ABC News reports that some precursors to cheating include signs like dramatic weight loss, getting a new job, just having a baby, and (most notably) reaching the age of 40.
In Katherine’s situation, she had recently experienced significant weight loss and undergone multiple plastic surgeries. She admitted to joining the Ashley Madison site because she felt “lonely,” but said the continued trysts were “like an addiction.”
“Being a woman on Ashley Madison, it’s a feeling like you’re the only woman on earth. It’s like shooting fish in a barrel,” she said.
For Ashley Madison founder Noel Biderman’s part, he doesn’t believe his dating service encourages infidelity. “I think long before I launched Ashley Madison, there were affairs, and I think long after I’m gone, they’ll be affairs. What I’m trying to do is help people have the more perfect affair,” he said.
Biderman describes himself as “happily married” to Amanda Biderman, but both admit they would be “devastated” if the other cheated on them. “But I would never blame an inanimate object,” Noel added. “If that happened, it would be because somehow I wasn’t filling what she needed in a marriage.”
Do you believe that women are cheating more often (and for different reasons) than men? Could your marriage survive the threat of divorce forms if infidelity became a factor?