When you’re mulling whether to file for divorce, one common fear that will occur to you is the fear of being alone. Once you’re used to someone else always being there, the thought of no longer having them to shoulder some of the burdens may give cause for trepidation, even if divorce is the best thing for your situation. That’s because it requires change, and the devil you know is often easier to handle than the one that you don’t.
However, don’t allow living alone to amplify the fear and uncertainty you’re experiencing. Here’s why you shouldn’t be afraid of it at all.
One: It Gives You Time To Plan.
Every change in life requires new goals and a new means of reaching them. Prior to filing divorce papers, when your spouse is still there, it can be difficult to come up with a plan that is best for you. But when you’re back on your own, you have time to think and sort out the obstacles that you’re likely to face. Ultimately, being alone can equip you for being the type of person you want to be rather than repeating past mistakes.
Two: It Allows You To Explore Interests.
When you first step out of the old relationship, you begin a new one with yourself. This is a time where you get to know yourself a little better than you did before. There’s probably some idea of the things you always wanted to do but couldn’t because of past obligations and commitments. Maybe it’s a place you wanted to go or an activity you want to take up. Only when you’re finally alone can you start thinking about how to incorporate these things into your daily life.
Three: You’re Stronger Than You Think.
When the divorce forms have been filed — especially when there are still feelings there for your ex — you may feel that the world will stop turning now that you no longer have a relationship you can count on. But the reality is that you’ll find an inner strength you never realized you had the longer you go out of the relationship. You just have to give yourself permission to explore new possibilities and to use your alone time for something you want to do rather than wondering what went wrong and what you’re ex is doing now.
Let go of those worries and focus more on you. If you do, you’ll go from being alone to being single, and that’s a much better place to be.