Recently, Huffington Post asked their readers to share some hard truths about being a single parent once they decided to file for divorce. While the website culled through hundreds of responses and eventually published the top 11, there was one that really stood out to us:
“Realize that there’s a possibility that your ex is only going to be a parent for the kids when it’s convenient for him or her. Some parents become glorified playmates after divorce.”
The number one gift that you can give to your children in order to get them through childhood and on to a successful adulthood is discipline. As used here, the word means much more than simply punishing them for doing something wrong. It means establishing healthy priorities and routines so that they will become well-adjusted members of society. As long as you stick to your guns, it will win out in the end. Here’s why:
Lack Of Discipline Can Create Problems For Everyone
If your spouse has visitation or partial custody, then he or she will be responsible for how the child behaves. While they may, at first, relish the idea that they’re the “glorified playmate,” there is a good chance they won’t want the full responsibilities of being a custodial parent. That’s because every parent realizes custodial parents have to do a lot of things that may not be popular to the child. Therefore, if you hang in there after the divorce papers have been filed and realize you’re in charge and not your child, you can eventually win cooperation from the other parent because it just works better that way for everyone involved.
Children Want Discipline
When you provide your child with the discipline to stand for what’s right and the dedication to his goals and responsibilities, you’re helping shape him into a capable adult. This is something kids yearn for from a very young age — to feel like Mom and Dad cares enough to guide them down the right paths of life. They may never verbalize that’s what they want. They may not even realize it at first. But as long as you keep giving them that amount of love, it will click for them eventually; and at that point, they will come to lean on you more than anyone else in their lives.
In Summary
If you and your spouse have finalized the divorce forms, your next priority is making sure your child becomes the man or woman he or she is supposed to be in spite of the obstacles that a divorce might create. At least one parent must be committed to raising the child with discipline and values. Best of luck if you’re currently experiencing this situation.