In a recent Huffington Post blog, superwoman/blogger Lizzy Smith took aim at the 10 best things about divorce. Smith is an interesting person to speak on the subject because hers came at one of the toughest times of her life. She’d been diagnosed with multiple myeloma while dealing with an alcoholic husband and raising her two young daughters. When she decided to file for divorce, she had to take a leap of faith that it would somehow improve her life instead of making things tougher amid the strained relationship and the health diagnosis.
Today, she lives cancer free and navigates the dating world with the attitude that filing divorce papers was the first step in her new beginning. Here are some of our favorites from her list of the 10 best things about divorce. Read the whole thing when you get a chance.
The whole bed is mine.
“When my husband and I split,” Smith writes “I spent several nights sleeping nearly sidewise on the bed. I wanted the whole dang thing to myself and it felt fabulous. No more sharing. It was all mine, mine, MINE. It was symbolically powerful.”
This is a common occurrence when one is getting comfortable with their personal divorce situation. Not only is it empowering, but it represents freedom and can actually lead to improved health on account that the quality of your sleep improves.
Peace.
“My marriage was extremely high conflict,” Smith notes. “I literally never knew from one moment to the next if a huge argument would erupt in a haze of too much alcohol. It was unimaginable hell. When we separated, the realization that I no longer had to walk on eggshells was exhilarating. At times, I was almost giddy. While the divorce got ugly, at least he couldn’t scream in my face anymore. It meant everything.”
And on another note: you can also derive a great deal of peace from the realization that your spouse isn’t necessarily a monster, but just someone who is ill-suited to you as a partner. When in the throes of divorce forms, it’s easy to demonize one another and the accompanying feelings of negativity can poison your soul. Once the divorce is behind you, you may start to notice that you and your spouse are better off and that can restore your faith in people. And even if they don’t take it as well as you do, then, as Smith notes, you’re at least out of the situation.
Physical strength.
It’s hard to argue against the fact that Smith is an incredibly strong woman with everything she’s been through, but there’s something to be said for the physical improvements your life can make as a result of divorce. As she states, “In addition to my emotional well-being, I started working on building up my physical strength too. That meant a new workout routine and a new pledge to eat healthier and take my vitamins. In the initial aftermath of my split, I could hardly eat because of the stress. I dropped a lot of weight (which was kind of cool). But once I started eating again, I used it as a starting point for changing up my whole look — clothes, hair, makeup. A whole new me. Stronger and better. More resilient, tough, and fearless.”
Divorce can be tough, but it can also be a chance to hit the reset button on your life and return to a place of assurance, safety and quality. For that we commend Lizzy Smith and anyone else who makes divorce work for them.