In a recent article on Huffington Post, the site asked readers to tell why they were thankful for making the decision to file for divorce. On Thanksgiving Day, they culled and published 25 of the best responses. Some examples:
1. “I am thankful for becoming the person that I am. I’ve learned so much along the way. Even the pain served a purpose.” -Amber L.
2. “I’m thankful for my self-respect.” -Tara H.
3. “I’m thankful the two of us were able to rebuild our lives. We got out earlier instead of waking up 50 years later and asking, ‘what happened to us?'” -Pilar G.
4. “I am most thankful for my divorce because my ex-husband found love in his current wife (we did not have love between us in our marriage) and she has been so wonderful to our sons.” -Lori S.
5. “I’m thankful to be having sex again!” -Robin T.
What these five responses regarding the filing of divorce papers share with the other 20 is this: they’re all from women.
This highlights a research finding that we’ve consistently seen in our own studies as well as what outside studies this year have revealed: women have a much easier time readjusting once the divorce forms are finalized.
Given that this finding has shown up a lot, it’s not that surprising that ex-wives would be behind most of the thankful responses. Here are a few likely reasons why this is the case:
One, Women Are Usually The Ones Making The Decision To File.
In our own research and outside studies, the number has remained consistent — close to two-thirds of all divorces are initiated by the wife.
Two, Women Are Better Positioned Financially Post Divorce.
Women have certainly closed the earnings gap over the years, and in the divorce cases that we’ve observed, they were the breadwinners by about $10,000 per-marriage annually.
Three, Women Get Custody Of Children More Often Than Not.
It’s no secret that courts tend to favor women when it comes to assigning primary custody. While children can be demanding and stress-inducing, they are also very fulfilling. Men usually must pay child support once the marriage is over, so women have some financial assistance with the added responsibility of being the child’s primary caregiver.
Plus, women who win primary custody have companionship with their little ones while men often find themselves alone and making poor decisions (i.e. substance abuse, rushing in to new relationships, not seeking help for depression).
While there are exceptions to every set of statistics, it is telling that when drawing from such a large pool of “thankful divorce” responses, HuffPo couldn’t find one male voice in the bunch. Do you think it’s true that women have an easier time adjusting after divorce?