It’s was a jungle out there when you married however long ago, and it’s still a jungle now that you’re divorced. But just because you’re divorced doesn’t mean you should throw yourself back out into the hunting ground that is the dating scene. Dating is still the enigma and flash in the pan experience that it was when you last dated, but now you’re more mature, and that maturity should reflect in you’re dating methods.
Women have problems re-entering the dating circuit, but men in particular seem a little lost for direction of how to impress an older woman. After all, changing from one usual dinner partner to a few sporadic, unknown dinner partners is challenging and intimidating. To add even more pressure for those beginning to date again, the looming first date still makes anyone’s palms sweat. So let’s clue them in and make men’s release into the wild easy and painless by laying out the first date donts.
Talk Dinner to Me
First date conversation should never stray to the negatives of your past relationship or the situation of your finances. Yammering on and on about the hang ups and reasons surrounding your divorce is no way to start a new relationship. For those men out there who view this type of ice-breaker as laying their cards on the table think about this: talking about an ex-wife or ex-girlfriend basically states that you are comparing your current dinner partner to your past dinner partners. Although this mental comparison is inevitable, admitting and bringing this forth so early is a huge turn off to starting a new relationship. So bench the deep talks about your past until at least a few dates.
In the same vein, talking about finances on a first date snips the blooming relationship in the bud. Finances are not only a private matter, but they are a serious topic. Go ahead and try jump starting a topic about finances if you like to set the tone of your first dates as bleak as possible. Maybe you’d also want to author a personal survey about your date’s history to get that out of the way. But in all seriousness, avoid topics that do not convey your interest in the person in front of you, but don’t forget that the first date is just a preview, not the entire movie. So don’t try to squeeze out all the information about your date in one night, it’s not an interrogation.
In case you missed any of the nuggets of wisdom, here’s a recap:
There are many other small peeves that each woman has, so don’t be too discouraged if a first date doesn’t lead to a second. You can just rest assured that the basics have been boiled down for you, and accept that relationships aren’t built in one date. Happy hunting!