Your children may seem like the most important people in the world to you, and they should be. After all, they’re part of you, they’re dependent on you, and they enrich your lives in so many ways over the years. However, if you really want to make a difference in their lives, one woman believes that you should put your spouse first, ahead of them.
In a recent article on Yahoo!, Amber Doty writes that she made this decision because she realized the relationship with her husband was the first example of a healthy relationship that her child would ever see.
“I think that raising them in a home with parents who clearly love and value one another is key to their growth. For me, this means putting my husband first.
With very few exceptions, you will not find our kids in our bed at night. If we can only afford to take one vacation a year, we take it alone, and I feel no guilt about soliciting the help of family so that we can have a date night where we talk about anything but our children.
In a few years, our son and daughter will leave our home and when they do, I want to celebrate a job well done with my lover—not sit in a quiet house with a person who has become a stranger as a result of years of quietly drifting apart.”
While the wording might seem abrasive at first, further review of what Doty is saying makes this a piece of advice worth taking. If a child grows up in a household where they are first in everything they say and do, they’re going to start to expect the same treatment from a world that won’t give it to them. Furthermore, they are never going to be able to fully invest in another person within the realms of a relationship.
Only by seeing the love Mom and Dad have for one another will they be able to share that kind of love with someone else. And because Doty and her husband feel this way about one another, their children will always have a home that feels stable and secure. A place of comfort from life’s storms.
Do you agree with Doty that a spouse should put their significant other before the kids? Share your thoughts in the comments section.