MyDivorcePapers Blog

Financial problems in marriage can be one of the biggest problems that lead to fighting, and sometimes-even divorce. How money affects marriage cannot be understated. According to Forbes, “during good or bad economic times some things never change-couples are still fighting over money. In many cases, they are the same things couples were fighting about 25 years ago.” Here are the common ways how money affects marriage, and how it can lead to marital strife and conflict.

 

1. Choosing possessions over the relationship. Do you or your spouse frequently engage in silly spending? Does having a big house, nice car, and best designer clothes supersede everything else? Are you trying to keep up with the Joneses, or do you just want to avoid thinking about how unhappy you are in your marriage?

 

Money doesn’t provide happiness. Though it can make things easier, and more pleasant, it does not completely mask a marriage that is falling apart. Furthermore, if you are spending money that you don’t have in order to keep up a certain lifestyle, it can cause even more stress in a relationship. Don’t fall into this pattern. Enjoy your hard earned money and treat yourself from time to time, but don’t replace a healthy relationship with material things.

 

2. One spender, one saver. When you met your partner, maybe you were excited by their spontaneous desire to travel, take you out, and make you feel relaxed. Perhaps they were drawn to you because of your responsible, steadfastness, and you provided much needed stability to their lives.

 

Unfortunately, the very things that attract us to one another can later tear you apart from each other. Having two different approaches to spending is how money affects marriage. You will become frequently annoyed with your partner’s casual spending, especially if the money is from your salary. They will become annoyed that you are controlling about money, and will want you to lighten up. This can create great stress if not addressed correctly.

 

3. Change in lifestyle due to external circumstances. Remember “for richer or poorer?” Well, sometimes that actually happens. If you are accustomed to a certain lifestyle, and suddenly, all of your money is lost in the stock market and both of you are virtually left penniless, it can cause enormous stress. In fact, your entire identity as a partnership can change, and you will have to change your entire lifestyle accordingly.

 

Similarly, if both of you were poor and that changes, it can also cause a positive type of stress. Maybe one of you becomes a different type of person than they were before the new money came in. Maybe you don’t have anything in common anymore, now that you’ve overcome your struggles. Changes in a financial situation, for the better, or worse, can bring stress and damage to a marriage.

 

Positive habits to form: So what are some positive habits to form so money doesn’t damage marriage? In other words, how can you fix or prevent money from ruining the great things you have together? According to Investopedia, “communication is the key to most marital financial challenges. Dealing with debt is often the first issue on the agenda. But if you can synchronize your goals, you reach them much more quickly than you could be working alone.”

 

In other words, money affects marriage and can cause stress in marriage, and can even lead to the collapse of a marriage. However, money issues can also make the two of you stronger in your relationship, and you can become content and live a well-off, but budgeted, lifestyle. The key is proper communication and great financial planning.

 

 

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