When you first file for divorce, getting back out there and finding someone new probably isn’t at the top of your list of priorities. Don’t feel bad. You shouldn’t rush it. But eventually you’re going to feel the urge to connect. When that happens, it can be difficult mustering up the courage to approach. There are two primary approaches: 1) In person. 2) Online.
In Person
For introverts who’ve gone through the divorce papers, the in-person meeting can be a more difficult approach, but it’s not impossible as long as you keep a few keys in mind. First of all, be complimentary but don’t go overboard. Most people are turned off by those who come on too strong. That type of behavior can make one feel threatened. Instead show genuine interest, asking questions about them when necessary. Don’t take over the conversation and make it all about you. Be genuine, and if he or she feels the same way, they will reciprocate.
Online
Online dating sites can be an excellent way to overcome shyness. By putting up a profile that is a good representation of who you are — and honest! — you’ll reduce the amount of wasted time and awkward silence. And don’t think that all of your options are match.com and sites like it. You can use a bit of a hybrid approach just by tapping in to Facebook. My wife and I met because I had the boldness to send her a Facebook message. We were already “friends,” but didn’t know each other very well. I wanted to change that and thought we’d be a good fit just from what I knew of her. Four years later, we’re going strong.
In both cases — in-person or online — the rules are the same. Be genuine, be interested, and don’t force it. Above all, be comfortable with who you are before ever approaching someone else. After all, divorce forms aren’t something you want to repeat. You want to learn from them so your next relationship is the right relationship.