We all want to focus on the magic of the holiday season, especially when everything is strung up in twinkling lights. But when a marriage is on the rocks, a couple cannot just rely on holiday magic to solve or absolve their relationship issues. Lawyers, divorce coaches, and other divorce experts have noticed for quite some time that January is one of their busiest times of the year, and they have a few guesses why.
The Un-victorious D-Day
Although making sweeping generalizations is never a safe bet, in this case, the numbers don’t lie. It is estimated that each January the rate of people filing for divorce goes up 50% higher than any other time of the year. The January divorce month has been so established in the legal community that professionals have pin-pointed the day divorce peaks. D-Day, as it has been dubbed, is the first day children return to school from winter break. Many attorneys have varying theories about why this is the case, but a few seem to ring truer than others.
Holiday Gauntlet
During the holidays, marriages are stretched thin to include into the relationship all the family, friends, and loved ones; and if a marriage has been worn thin already then it’s prone to break. It’s like the holiday season is a relationship gauntlet, and after some spouses run the gauntlet they think to themselves, “I can’t take this again next year.” Whether it’s that meddling in-law that makes a spouse’s life miserable, or just the magnified fact that a relationship has run out of gas, the end of the holiday festivities seems like a good time to make a break for it.
When the Magic Wears Off
Most marriages with children stick together just long enough to preserve the magic of the season for the children. Sticking it out for the holidays is understandable, especially when small children are in the picture; but attorneys and marriage counselors have noticed some couples stay together through the holidays in hopes of the holiday magic miraculously fixing their marriage. This is an interesting trend that may or may not be a conscious choice by the spouses. When January rolls around and the relationship hasn’t taken a turn for the better, the marriage is declared DOA.
Last Chance Holiday Deal
Sometimes unhappily married people use the holiday season to test their spouses. After all, the holiday season is supposed to inspire a flood of love, good cheer, and warm fuzzies. Especially with the beginning of a new year coming, some people view their situation and say to themselves, “If things don’t change, then I’ll start over fresh next year.” So why not see if the marriage could muster any kind of warmth and affection? Unfortunately, this experiment usually backfires and the state of the marriage is seen in for what it is and what it isn’t.
When a couple marries, usually, divorce is the farthest thing from their mind; but life doesn’t always go as planned or expected. This season we hope you find happiness and cheer in your life, even if you have finalized a divorce or have decided to file for divorce. The holiday spirit of valuing the intangible warmth of family and loved ones should be celebrated year round, so let that be your guiding light for 2013.