When one spouse decides to file for divorce over a thing like infidelity, there can be a wave of emotion in the cheated-on spouse that makes them feel inadequate. This can be made doubly worse when the person your spouse cheated with is an insult in itself.
A best friend, a family member, a member of the same gender as the cheating spouse, and someone older, can all make the victim feel even more inadequate and impede their recovery.
But there is something you have to remember, especially once those divorce forms are over with and done: to paraphrase George Costanza, it’s not you, it’s them. How is that? Let’s look at the reasons.
Firstly, it means your spouse lacked the courage and the wherewithal to face the issues in your relationship and opted for a backstab instead.
There is never a good excuse for an affair. If you’ve lost your fire for the marriage, communicate that with your spouse. If you have and nothing has gotten better as a result, then file divorce papers. But don’t take the commitment you made and betray your spouse with a relationship that wrecks lives.
Secondly, it takes two to enact an affair, and both suffer from the same tragic flaw: cowardice.
No one deserves to be cheated on, especially when they have been faithful. It takes cowardice to break vows behind your back, and it takes an equal degree of cowardice to be the other party in said betrayal. If you’re feeling inadequate because your husband or wife left for someone much older or your best friend, just know that they’re the ones who should feel that way, not you.
Thirdly, two cheaters can seldom keep it together because in the back of their minds they’re always suspicious of how their relationship began.
When two people find each other and have an affair, there is a tinge of excitement. But that quickly fades once life becomes ordinary and blasé. And when that happens, they typically start to question each other, with good reason. The situation becomes such that it’s difficult to maintain trust between the two parties. That isn’t something you want in a new relationship, and thankfully, they’ve given you a chance to start over. This is a huge gift provided you take your time and don’t enter into a relationship with someone similar to your ex.