Severing ties with your ex can be difficult for many still living in denial that the relationship is over. These individuals fail to realize no hope exists for a reconciliation, and the steady ongoing communications do little good of convincing them otherwise. If that sounds like you, then here are some reasons why you should reconsider your approach as well as how you can make a clean break today.
False hopes
When you continue to share a strong communicative relationship with your ex — as in speaking every day — you keep alive false hopes, either in them, yourself, and/or your children. The only way to stop this from being your new reality is to take a stand and say, “No more.” Stop talking to each other every day through phone, text, email, and in-person. Only reach out if there is an emergency involving your child, and you’ll be surprised by how much more quickly you can recover.
Regenerating conflict
Many divorced couples are flat-out toxic to one another, and there is no such thing as civil communication. Maybe you can get along when it comes to parenting your child, but any time you have to be in the same room, the gloves come off and the very sight of the other person makes you want to scream. If you severed ties, you wouldn’t run the risk of constantly regenerating conflict.
Stunting the growth of your recovery
You can be going along smoothly, and then all the sudden, you see your ex with someone new. The chances of this happening would be far less likely if you stopped traveling in the same circles and declared, once and for all, that your relationship is over.
So how do you do it?
Start with 24 hours. Go a full day without speaking, texting, or seeing one another. Then try 36 hours. Then 48. Continue to build up your “immunity” until there are greater and greater lengths of time between how often you speak to your ex. If they try reaching out to you, ignore it. Let your kids’ safety be the only exception to this rule, and you’ll be well on your way to recovery.