In the show Seinfeld, the cowardly George Costanza was constantly looking for ways that he could get out of relationships. He liked the idea of finding the perfect woman, but ran away from commitment with the speed of an Usain Bolt.
On television, these reasons for breakups or divorce papers are comical. So much so, that a Redditor recently asked the community, “What’s the most George Costanza-esque reason you’ve ever broken up with someone?” Here are some of the best responses.
The Birthday Gift
“I was 4 days before my birthday and she said she was going to get me a gift. I knew I couldn’t break up with her for at least 30 days after accepting her gift and I wasn’t willing to make a 34 day commitment to the relationship.”
Don’t Know Much Geometry
“Her mouth made a trapezoid when she talked…”
Cookie Monster
“I dated this girl who was the loudest eater I ever met. She constantly chewed with her mouth open and smacked her lips. God forbid if she really liked it, then there came a litany of mmms and noms as well. It was like dating the cookie monster.”
The Chronic Observer
“She would constantly say the names of the stores we passed by while driving. ‘Jiffy Lube. Huh, a Spencers. Gym-boooo-ree’ (that’s how she would say it).”
The Coffee Clumper
“She put the spoon into the sugar jar after stirring her coffee. Would leave clumps of coffee sugar.”
Mustard Malfeasance
“She was putting mustard on her fries by applying it to her hand first and then rubbing it all over the fries. Then she licked the mustard off her hand. You would never ever think she would do this by looking at her or speaking to her.”
The Yoko Ono
She would sing along with songs that were playing on the radio, but with a delay of .5 seconds, like she knew the tune, but didn’t know the words until she HEARD them. It got SO annoying, SO quickly. Nope.
Do you think you could live with any of these behaviors, or would they send you straight for the divorce forms? Share your thoughts in our comments section, and if you have decided to file for divorce, make sure you check out the rest of our services.