In a recent article for Huffington Post, blogger Jenny Erikson took a quick look at the seven “terrible” reasons to rush in to marriage, and we agree on each and every point. One, in particular, that stood out was this:
All Your Friends Are Married
Yes, it’s possible that even as an adult, you can fold to peer pressure. And when marriage is how you choose to fold, it can significantly damage your life goals and plans.
Speaking purely in cliche terms, it’s like the Southern girl, who desperately wants to get out of her town and is sick and tired of the older women telling her, “You’re not getting any younger, y’know.”
Unfortunately, these are statements that affect singles and people who have already filed divorce papers once. It can lead one to feeling like the walls of opportunity are shrinking, and that they should “hurry up and get married” (or remarried) as a result.
Don’t entertain this type of pressure, especially when it comes to people in loveless marriages or those who have decided to file for divorce, but have seemingly learned nothing from their breakup.
What You Should Do Instead
Analyze where the pressure is coming from. Is it coming from you, or from someone else? If it is coming from you, where did it begin — with a relative’s urging, your friends’ decisions, or rather from a deep-seated need to move on?
Where this pressure begins, is highly important if you want to get married for the right reasons. It takes a lot of soul-searching and honesty, but it’ll be completely worth the effort.
What you don’t want to do, is be in denial. That can make you a sure candidate for divorce forms whether you’ve been married before or not.
If you feel like the need to get married or remarried is coming from someplace other than your own thoughts and beliefs, then don’t do it.
It’s far better to wait for the right moment, even if that comes several years down the road, than to ruin progress and shake your confidence by following the pack.
Here’s the full list of Erikson’s reasons not to rush in to marriage. Well worth your time!