The Superior Wife Syndrome is one of the reasons why marriages lead to divorce. A marriage is a delicate mixture and balance of two elements – the husband and the wife. Although there are many elements that contribute to a happy and successful marriage, the power relationship between the husband and wife is a crucial element in making or breaking a marriage. When that power is tipped over, problems arise for both couples, which affect intimacy, trust, the marriage itself, and ultimately, it becomes one of the causes of divorce.
In the last decades, men have been in the driver’s seat in most marriages. They are the breadwinner and the head of the household. However, throughout the years, women have become more and more independent, powerful and career-driven, leading to women taking control over finances and decision-making in the household. Although it benefits women’s well-being to be empowered, the so-called Superior Wife Syndrome destroys most marriages and eventually causes divorce.
What is Superior Wife Syndrome?
The Superior Wife Syndrome is where the wife does all the effort in the relationship – putting the money in, decision-making, managing the household and caring for the family. Dr. Carin Rubenstein, a psychologist from New York University and author of the book, “The Superior Wife Syndrome”, describes wives with “Superior Wife Syndrome” as women who typically think they can take control of everything. However, Rubenstein explains that this often leads to unhappiness and more often than not, the imbalanced arrangement makes these “superior wives” resent their situation. Wife superiority in marriage can lead to devastating consequences like divorce.
How the Superior Wife Syndrome Leads to Divorce
Rubenstein also explained how in two out of three marriages, women are running the show while men take it easy. As a result, more and more women are rejecting marriage as a viable social institution. This makes wives more miserable and their husbands disempowered. Eventually, this new kind of relationship in marriages leads to breakups and divorce. Here are the reasons why the Superior Wife Syndrome leads to divorce.
As mentioned earlier, superior wives are often more unhappy and resentful. As they take charge of everything, they feel like they are not really in a partnership and begin to feel the toll of all the work on their well-being. Depressed wives are not as intimate and sexually responsive to their husbands. This creates cracks in the marriage because most married couples who are not sexually intimate have troubled marriages.
When the wife takes the primary role in the marriage, the husbands often take the more laid back and passive role as a natural reaction. This imbalance hurts the marriage. Wives must learn how to relinquish some of the responsibilities and let their husbands gain some control and power in their marriages. The imbalance also manifests in money issues. When the wife solely controls the flow of money in the household, it creates tension in the marriage, making wives more frustrated and husbands more resentful.
Women who are used to having all the control often resort to nagging especially when they do not get what they want. Superior wives often nitpick and see every single flaw and make it a point to raise the issue to their husbands. Nagging can be counterproductive especially when you do it to your husband. Husbands who are often nagged by their wives often feel angry and frustrated and would less likely do what is asked of them. Instead of nagging, clear communication, positive reinforcements, and encouragements will work better to nurture your marriage.
The Superior Wife Syndrome seldom benefits anyone in a marriage. Wife superiority in marriage is destructive both to the wife and the husband. It hurts both spouses and creates the little cracks that will eventually lead to divorce. If you ever find yourself in this situation, you might want to take it easy and talk to your spouse about your issues. It is also best to consult a divorce attorney for some legal advice.