We recently covered the topic of children and divorce, and in particular divorce from the child’s perspective. No one will ever argue that the affect of divorce on children is negligible, but by the same token there are cases in which the home environment is one of such contention, that the child may very well be far better off with divorced parents.
If weddings are viewed as the happiest day in a person’s life, then divorce is known as the worst day in a person’s life. But take, for example, loveless, militant, and violent marriages, can you really say that staying married and polluting the world with malice is better than calling it quits and finding real happiness? The answer is a unanimous no. So why do parents in a loveless marriage feel the need to stay together “for the kids”? No child would choose a united but doomed household over two separate, joyful houses; so please, for the kids, leave them out of it.
Divorce may have been the family’s saving grace, but the transition from a two parent household to two single parents is still a bit tricky for you and the child. So what do you do as an individual parent after divorce? How do you connect with your child and attempt to create a loving environment as a single parent? Let’s take a look and some of the best ways to create new memories with your child in your post divorce parental life.
Making new memories with your child post-divorce
Creating positive memories with child after your divorce can help you as parent begin to move on with the next phase of your life. Beginning to create a post-divorce positive relationship with your child an important step in the post-divorce phase as a parent. Sometimes a divorce can be the first step into a better life for both of you. Being directly involved in your child’s life can help mend the broken structure of a divorced family. Here are some full proof ways to start creating post-divorce memories that can lead to a lasting and fruitful relationship with your child.
Cooking for your kids on a consistent basis
The kitchen can serve as a great place for getting to learn about what’s going on in your child’s life. Allow them to have their friends over and make their favorite meal. Spending face to face time over some home cooked food can go a long way to creating positive give and take in you and your child’s relationship.
Plan a vacation
Going on an affordable vacation centered on something your child likes can really allow your child to open up to you. Depending on the age of your children when you get a divorce they can react in different ways. Showing them that even though their traditional structure is broken, you can still go fun places and do fun things will let help lessen the blow of separate parental situations.
Redecorate your house
Depending on the nature of your divorce, your home, or new home may need some decorating. Get your child involved, allow them to help pick a color of paint for a room or include them in the decision for new furniture. New things can create an exciting atmosphere and let them know that there can be positive and fun lasting memories in their post-divorce childhood.
As anyone who has spent five minutes in the presence of a child knows, children are the above water equivalent of sea sponges. They absorb everything from conversation, tone of voice, body language, spoken language, and the intangible aura of any room. By this description children sound like enlightened psychic yogi’s, but their age and budding brain only allows them to process so much information. When a child lives in a turbulent household with warring parents, no matter how silently those parents wage battle, the child will be affected down to their very psychology. However, the same goes for children who experience a divorce. The good news is that the way you handle the divorce is what makes the difference.