Divorce and the high road are often difficult to align with one another. As Dr. Sherrie Campbell notes in an article for Huffington Post, “When divorced couples share children there is no ending to the relationship which makes moving on difficult because the children bind ex’s together for life.”
“We not only have to deal with our ex but we have to often deal solely with all the aspects of them that we tried to divorce,” she adds.
How true this is! But when your ex is being a roadblock to happiness, there are still some things that you can do to make sure you’re traveling the right path.
1. Keep communications short and to the point.
If ever there was a time to adopt a “just the facts” approach, it’s now. While the nice part of you may try to “play nice” in order to make it easier on the kids, you usually end up making matters worse because you’re not direct enough with your ex. By keeping your communications brief and centered on the message instead of nurturing a relationship, you can make things a lot easier on yourself.
2. Accomplish as much as you can through non-personal modes of communication.
Texts and emails have worked wonders for many divorcees trying to take the high road. Instead of allowing their ex an opportunity to engage multiple senses for the sake of annoyance, you can more easily keep the first item on this list by utilizing more written communication. Try it; it works!
3. Focus on your own self improvement.
In other words, don’t be an active participant in their drama. If they try to start fights with you, instead of fighting back, simply don’t be present. Let your ex fight with themselves, and focus instead on working out, eating right, going out with friends, and pursuing passions. By enjoying as much of life as possible, you won’t have the time to go to war.
4. Stick with the plan.
If you still have to see your ex because of the kids, then make sure that you’re doing everything you can to accommodate the parenting plan. Don’t disrespect what the judge has set in place and you’ve both agreed to. If you do need to make changes, try to let your ex know as much in advance as possible. If you can tell that he’s annoyed, try to arrange it so you “pay him back” by taking the kids on a time when he needs the extra leeway. That will give him less to complain about and establish the post-divorce you as a reasonable person, who doesn’t have time for games.
Have you had to deal with a roadblock of an ex? If so, how did you manage to take the high road? Sound off in the comments section!
I have a ex that think only way I can see the kids if I sleep with him . And he think if get get me thing that I owe him. I tell him all I want is to see the kids not him I don’t need nothing from him .
What can I do .