Every relationship is different, as are the reactions of people when they discover that their spouse wants to file for divorce. If you’re the one planning the getaway, dealing with irrational behaviors and a desire for revenge from your spouse can be made doubly worse when you haven’t done appropriate pre-planning prior to walking out the door. That’s why we suggest taking care of the following matters before ever going through with “the talk.”
First: Determine Why You Want The Divorce In The First Place.
Many spouses can have a knee-jerk reaction where they want to file divorce papers over a perceived or actual infraction on the part of their partners. Considering that around 80 percent of divorces happen purely at the preference of one party, that’s a lot of relationships where people would potentially be willing to attend counseling and work on what is causing the division. If your reaction isn’t knee-jerk, then you should be able to clearly and articulately explain why you want a divorce. If you’re feeling uncertain, listen to those fears, and try to figure out why you feel that way before moving forward.
Secondly: Examine Your Partner’s Perspective.
This doesn’t mean that you should accept full responsibility for the divorce. After all, it may not be your fault in the least. But you should try to step out of yourself for a moment and think about how your partner will take the news of you wanting a divorce. How will they react when they find out, and how are they likely to react once they realize the marriage is past the point of no return. Some spouses start out with a calm, rational, we-can-fix-this attitude only to turn angry and vengeful when they find out you’re serious. Trying to empathize will help you anticipate these reactions and better position yourself toward an amicable divorce.
Finally: Envision What Your Life Will Be Like After The Divorce.
Don’t just file the divorce forms and then try to figure everything out as you go along. While you will learn a lot as a newly single person, you should have a plan for rebuilding your life after the divorce is final. That means thinking of where you might live, budgeting effectively, and making sure you have the basic necessities taken care of from day one.