The Huffington Post Divorce team recently queried their Facebook and Twitter followers for information on the worst advice to those who’ve decided to file for divorce. Reading through the 15 examples, it’s scary how much of this I heard when going through my own divorce several years ago. If I knew then what I know now, I probably would have told the advice giver to stuff it.
Without further ado, here are some of our favorite selections. But again, a word of warning: this is what NOT to do when filing divorce papers.
“The worst thing you can do is suggest they can ‘work it out’ with their spouse. Sorry, but that’s not always the case and they’re probably already past that stage.”
“I understood where people were coming from, but for me, hearing them say ‘everything heals with time’ was the most frustrating advice of all. It makes you feel like there’s some sort of timetable for feeling better and moving on after a split and there really isn’t. I like the no-advice route: Just give unconditional love and support.”
“The worst advice is telling the person to take their ex for all they’re worth — and this is coming from a lawyer.”
“The worst advice is to hint that going through with the split might be a mistake. Obviously it’s a decision you really need to think through, but divorce is not always a mistake.”
“The worst advice? Telling a jaded spouse to get revenge in any form. What good could possibly come of that?”
“‘Just do it’ is the worst advice you can offer. Divorce is something that should not be taken lightly. If there’s a chance the marriage can work, try to make it work.”
For the rest, make sure you check out the post here.
In Summary
Appreciate that people care about you when you’re considering divorce forms, but don’t make the mistake of thinking any advice is good advice. Also, don’t assume that because someone you know has been divorced that they’re qualified to be helpful. Some of the worst advice comes from people, who’ve experienced divorce before. That’s because they can make the mistake of imposing their experience onto yours when in reality, every case is different because every person is different.