Has your marriage been touched by infidelity? Were you the cause of it? Are things now headed towards your spouse deciding to file for divorce? If so, there may be something you can do to stop this before it happens. According to a new study, admitting infidelity to your spouse can be the ticket.
The study, conducted by researchers from UCLA and the University of Washington, found much lower divorce rates in couples where infidelity had been admitted, compared to couples where it was kept a secret.
Out of 134 participating married couples from the five-year study, 19 couples experienced infidelity from one or both partners during the time period. Forty-three percent of couples who endured infidelity and admitted to it ended up filing divorce papers, while the number spiked to 80 percent for couples who concealed their infidelity from the other partner.
Perhaps most surprisingly…
Researchers revealed that of those who admitted the infidelity and ended up staying together, the levels of marital stability and relationship satisfaction were equal to those couples who were not unfaithful.
From the report:
“When an infidelity is confessed as opposed to discovered, both partners may be more willing to work on restoring the marital relationship. … Infidelity does not have to be the end of the relationship. It is clear that couples are able to work through an infidelity, restore their relationship, and enjoy a stable and satisfying marital relationship.”
Admitting vs. not admitting
The reason that couples tend to avoid the divorce forms when they admit their infidelity goes even further than what the report has indicated. People are more likely to stay together in these scenarios, because they have something to work with.
When you admit an affair to your spouse, you’re saying, “This is a mistake, and I want to fix it.” When news of the infidelity comes out on its own (because you got caught, generally), you’re saying, “I’m sorry I got caught.”
Your spouse knows the difference and the dynamic between the two of you senses it.
While the short-term prospects could mean a lot of heartache, anger, and tension, if your marriage is worth saving to you, then admitting the infidelity is the way to go.