Marriage failure is definitely a very difficult couple of words to handle and accept. For it seems like everyone is talking about you behind your back, and your children are depressed and scared. On top of that, you have bills to pay and a new apartment to move into. Whether you feel excited, sad, stressed, or angry, getting a divorce brings up a mixed bag of emotions for everyone.
You can only move forward with your life by understanding how to learn from marriage failure. It is only through learning and acceptance that you and your family can make the best of a bad situation. So what are some tips to transition through marriage failure? Here are some suggestions.
- Figure out better communication skills. One of the biggest causes of problems in relationships is a lack of proper communication. According to an article on first marriages in The Daily Mail, “ In the early days of a relationship, we’re wearing our rose colored specs.” Because we are putting out our best image to the other person, we fail to talk about very important things that need to be discussed.
When you start dating again, begin by communicating your needs immediately. Of course you don’t have to throw your entire sob story on your skeptical date on Day 1. But be honest about who you are and what you want. It will prevent problems from occurring later on if you two decide to pursue a serious relationship.
- Figure out who you are and what you want. Build your self-esteem up. Maybe your low self-image and failure to reflect who you were to your ex is a reason why your marriage failed. Make a list of what you want in life and what kind of partnership you are looking for. Never forget the reasons why you got divorced from your ex. Make sure not to repeat the pattern. No matter what, you deserve to be happy. Don’t settle.
- Don’t marry for the wrong reasons. Are you financially insecure and looking for someone to take care of you? Are you tired of being alone after your divorce and just want to stop feeling lonely? Take a deep pause before you get married again and make sure it’s for the right reasons. According to Family Share, “People have this misconception that marriage can change a person. It can, but only if the person wants to change.”
So don’t just get married because you think it will solve problems. Recognize that your first marriage struggled in part because you may have gotten married for the wrong reasons.
- Don’t build your life around your spouse. The goal for any relationship is to have two happy, healthy people with their own interests and friends that are outside of the relationship. Did your first wife or husband insist that you only hang out with their friends? Did you have anyone to confide in, or spend time with? Before you enter your next relationship, make sure to look at your own life and figure out what’s missing. The best advice to learn from a marriage failure is that you need to work on your individual self first and foremost before you can give yourself completely to another person.
- Let go of the past. Finally, stop dwelling on what was and what wasn’t. There is no point in beating yourself up and feeling guilty forever about the failure of your first marriage. The best thing that you can do for yourself and your children is to know how to learn from your mistakes that led to marriage failure. You deserve to move forward with your life, and find happiness and contentment.
