Well it’s the uncomfortable truth: You can’t get divorced unless you get married. According to the American Psychological Foundation, between 40 and 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. Analysts, psychologists, and political figures alike are always commenting on what is commonly referred to as “the divorce culture.” Of course, nobody is encouraging anyone to shy away from marriage for fear that you may one day get divorced! If we all stayed away from that which we fear, nobody would ever be happy at all.
Marriage is a wonderful union between two people who love each other and want to build a life and family together. Marriage has been the foundation and bedrock of society for thousands of years, and can be one of the most important decisions one can make. So how can something so powerful lead to something as devastating as divorce? What is the relationship between marriage and divorce, and how can divorce be avoided? Is divorce inevitable?
Of course divorce is not inevitable! But here are some common marriage problems, which result in common divorce reasons that many cite as their causes for jumping ship.
According to the website, Pathway to Happiness, “ When we are authentic and live our relationships with awareness, we don’t make false assumptions about the other person. (True love) is not based on an image of who they think we are.” In other words, stop pretending to be something you aren’t to impress someone else. It is doomed to fail.
Make sure you know whom you are committing to before you make the final step and take those vows. Eventually, the real person will shine through, whether that is a good or bad thing. and this can lead to problems if the image promoted was an illusion to begin with.
Unfortunately, however, a leopard does not usually change their spots, so to speak. According to statistics from the Huffington Post, those who have been divorced before are more likely to get divorced again. Those who have cheated before are more likely to cheat again. This should not scare you or prevent you from leaving a bad situation or getting remarried. Rather, it is something to be wary of for future reference, so you can protect yourself from further emotional harm. Make sure you and your partner discuss your full reasons for a prior divorce or infidelity in another relationship and come to a level of acceptance over it.
Everyone must put effort into his or her marriage in order to make it work. After 10 years of seeing the same person day in and day out, this can be exhausting. It’s easy to let the romance slide, or to view your partner as more of a friend than lover. Don’t fall into this trap.
Do everything you can to fully communicate your needs to your partner, and make sure you listen to their concerns as well. Be spontaneous. Have fun! Make time for each other. The bottom line is-don’t take the other person for granted. Cherish and respect your relationship and understand how important it is to maintain.
Marriage is worth the risk. Starting to get scared now about walking down the aisle? Don’t be! You are taking one of the most important steps in your life, and it can be full of a new home, children, trips, holidays, romantic gestures, and a beautiful new life together. But there is a risk for your marriage to fall apart if you don’t work everyday to preserve and protect it.
So don’t be another bad statistic! Take your marriage seriously and love every moment of it, even when it’s tough. Nothing worthwhile is easy, 100% of the time.