Mature relationships — the kind that seldom require the decision to file for divorce — are much rarer than you probably think. In fact, you may be in a relationship that you feel is mature because you live together, pay bills together, plan vacations together, etc. You may feel your relationship is mature because you’re both madly in love, almost to the point that it becomes an all-consuming fire where passion is the order of the day in everything you do and say and think and feel. While all relationships tend to go through a passionate phase, passion is in no way a sign of maturity. If anything, it’s a sign that you have yet to navigate the choppy waters of getting to a mature relationship. Here are some actual signs that your relationship has reached maturity.
1. There is no drama.
It’s not that you are above fighting or turmoil. Life can pepper in some pretty legitimate reasons to be agitated or stressed or sorrowful. But immature relationships seem to thrive on drama while mature relationships are able to rise above it. In an immature relationship, you may want to do something to “get a rise” out of your partner. Mature relationships don’t have to resort to these types of games to keep the love alive and the fire burning.
2. You feel fulfilled.
This doesn’t mean that you lack ambition or that you can stop trying to achieve a better life; but it does mean that you’re equipped to live out whatever stage of life you’re in and feel fulfilled doing it — win or lose — as long as your partner is with you.
3. You are individuals.
Sameness is not what a mature relationship is about. When you’re in the puppy love stages, you may feel the need to do everything together and to act and think the same way. But mature partners are true to themselves even if it means they are different from one another in key ways.
4. You are motivated.
Maybe it sounds like a contradiction to number two, but I don’t think it is. Fulfillment (No. 2) is about feeling contented with your partner; motivation is about feeling like you want to become a better version of yourself because of how you feel about your partner.
5. You are plugged in to each other.
When you spend time together, it isn’t about the phones or the Netflix binge watching (even though some of that is okay). You actually have things to say to one another, and you don’t feel like it’s a chore to sit through each other’s stories. You make eye contact and live in the moment.
What are some signs of a mature relationship in your eyes? Sound off in the comments section.