Second marriages are often thought of as less successful than first marriages because statistics have shown that if you file for divorce once, the odds are good that you’ll do it again. Even so, a second marriage doesn’t have to be predestined to fail. In fact, it can be many times better than your first, especially since it already has one thing going for it that your first marriage doesn’t.
It’s not broken.
The key is to keep it that way, and the way to do that is to stick to the following steps.
1. Identify where you want to improve. Even if the divorce papers were no doing of your own, it’s best to be mindful of any faults that you may have had as a husband or wife. Mistakes are often repeated in second marriages because people don’t take the time to assess what went wrong. And when that happens, the stats aren’t in your favor.
2. Don’t marry the same person. By “the same person,” we mean someone who is a carbon copy of your ex. There’s a reason that you couldn’t make things work, and dating someone who acts like your ex isn’t going to yield different results. It’s best to get out of the mindset that you have a specific “type.” Remember that your ex was once your “type.” Don’t choose a spouse that way. Instead get to know the person inside and be able to identify how they’re better for you than your ex.
3. Be willing to take chances. Stepping out of your comfort zone will help you overcome the curse of the second marriage. This follows along with No. 1 in that it’s you, striving to challenge yourself and unearth new layers to your personality. This is your time to break free of the old baggage and start living a life worth bragging about. The more chances that you take, the further it will bring you away from the cloud of divorce.
4. Don’t move too quickly, especially when there are children involved. If you’re getting married a second time to someone with kids, or perhaps you have children, or both of you do, make sure that you’re moving at a pace that the children can deal with it. There is no set age as to when this might be. It just depends on the child and your partner. In many cases, kids need time to process their mom or dad in a romantic relationship with someone other than their other parent. Give them their time.
When all the guidelines above are met, you might find that your second marriage eclipses your first in every way. Good luck as you move forward in your relationships.