When a person decides to file for divorce, it can be a liberating thing. But too often, people stay in unhappy marriages “for the kids” and do things that they think will “keep up appearances,” when in reality they could be teaching their children a warped view of personal relationships. Recently on Huffington Post, a solicitor study in the UK revealed 10 things most parents try in an attempt to hold things together for their children. Among the findings:
They “keep problems bottled up rather than discussing them.”
The problem with this method is that it almost always results in an explosion, wherein if the issues were simply dealt with as they arise, the parents would not have a chance to let animosity fester and grow. Of course, the inverse of this is that you’re fighting all the time, and then it becomes harder to hide your animosity from the kids. In both scenarios, divorce papers may be a better solution.
They “argue in a different room away from the children.”
This actually isn’t a bad thing to do whenever you have differences with your spouse. The problems, however, can come in the fact that it may be a while before you can get to that “place of impact.” In that time, you start thinking about all the ways you’re right instead of how you can resolve your differences.
They “enjoy family Christmas and birthdays.”
Family Christmas and birthdays can be a magical time for kids and adults alike, but they can also mask the problems hiding underneath a relationship, causing two people to keep going in an unhappy marriage in spite of the fact they’ve tried everything and nothing seems to work.
They “sleep in the same bed.”
Operative word is sleep. When the passion has drained from the relationship, sleep may be all that is left, and if that’s the case, the marriage has bigger issues.
For the rest of the things that parents do to keep up appearances, make sure you check out the full graphic at this link. If you and your spouse are tired of pretending and would like an easy and affordable solution to divorce forms, then check out the rest of our site.