Every marriage goes through rough spots, but just because the going gets tough, that doesn’t mean you have to file for divorce. Many couples can save themselves the trauma of just such a proceeding by working harder to make their marriage work. As Huffington Post contributor Randi Gunthner recently pointed out, it’s wise to start with this question: “If we weren’t already married, would you choose me again?”
The wonderful thing about this question is that it forces couples to communicate and stay connected with the people they were when they first met and everything was fresh and new. By going back to the beginning, essentially, you can rededicate your love for each other or you can see if your marriage is truly worth saving from the divorce papers. To get to the heart of this broad question, it helps to ask yourself a series of little ones.
In all, Gunthner points out 15 thought-provoking questions. You can read them in their entirety by following the link at the end of this post, but for our purposes, we want to hone in on our four favorites:
By focusing on the beginning, you can take stock of where you were as a couple and where you’re going now. And any analysis of your dreams for the marriage isn’t complete without looking at the good times and the struggles.
These four questions will help you to realize the times that you worked together and the times you drifted apart. The question you’ll need to contend with before reaching for those divorce forms, however, is this: Do I still feel all those things are true, and yes or no, why?
Here’s the full post; definitely worth a read!