Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon were married in 2007, but decided to file for divorce after just two months of marriage. On Sunday evening, Anderson announced the two were back together and had already gotten married.
Those close to Anderson weren’t likely to be surprised considering an earlier appearance on Ellen when Anderson referred to Salomon as her “best friend with benefits.”
The situation is an atypical one, yet it goes on every day throughout the world. People who’ve tried marriage to each other once end up doing it again a few years after signing the divorce papers.
Is this a recipe for disaster or can maturity lead to successful re-marriages?
Statistics are hard to come by when it comes to cases of re-marriage to the same partner. You really shouldn’t allow them to dictate how you live your life anyway, but it is important to realize that you’re marrying the same person you divorced before when you decide to go this route. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t make it work. Here are some steps you can take to improve your chances:
- Move for a longer courtship. Getting married after reconnecting for a few months is a big mistake, and smacks of not learning your previous lessons. Give the new courtship enough time to go through new fights so you can observe the true changes, if any, in your partner’s personality.
- Get to know the person they’ve become. While you’re dealing with the same person on whom you’ve previously filed divorce forms, acknowledge that they may have changed in their values, beliefs, and behaviors.
- Let go of the past. It doesn’t matter how well you get along; you’re going to have new fights. Just make sure they stay that way, and leave the past skirmishes in the past. If you’re still walking around with a grudge against your spouse for something they did in the previous marriage, then you should probably find someone new and move on with your life.
- Don’t put small children through it. Decisions to re-marry an ex aren’t often well-thought-out. For that reason, you may want to wait until your children are out of the house before considering it. You can be an effective co-parent without giving your little ones false hope. Divorce is hard enough for them. Putting them through it twice or multiple times when all they want is for their parents to get along, can be very damaging.
