It seems like you can’t open up a web browser these days without first reading about Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom’s marital woes — he, an apparent drug addict, and she, from a family where the marriage success rate doesn’t appear to be all that good.
(Khloe’s sister Kim Kardashian famously decided to file for divorce after 72 days of marriage from husband Kris Humphries, and recently, her mother and father — Kris and Bruce Jenner — separated after 22 years of marriage.)
Today, headlines blared that Khloe has been ignoring her family’s advice to get the divorce papers rolling right away. While you may find this as uninteresting as we do, it does beg the question:
What Should You Do If Your Family Wants You To Divorce?
In a marriage, it’s very true that you don’t just marry the person, but their family as well. With the latest statistics showing that children of divorce are 50 percent more likely to get divorced than children from intact homes (and 26 percent less likely to marry), there is a clear trend showing divorced parents can be toxic to their child’s future marriage.
But that is not a death sentence for the marriage either. How are you supposed to know when your family is right and when they’re wrong? Here are some things we suggest you remember:
Listen, But Don’t Follow
Your family will be coming at you with their own life experiences if they suggest leaving your mate. Acknowledge their experience, but don’t let that make the decision for you. At day’s end, your relationship can only live or die by the bond you have with one another. If you do end up deciding to divorce, make sure it’s because you see the issues as well, and the action is a personal decision rather than one someone placed in your head.
Consider Where The Family Member Is Coming From
With age comes experience, and we’re saying “experience” here instead of “wisdom,” because people often don’t learn from the experiences they have. Instead they go on making the same mistakes. So if you’re getting some family advice about what your next marital steps should be, really focus on where the advice is coming from. Is it from a place of wisdom or experience?
Realize That When It Comes To Good Advice, Love Isn’t Always Enough
People who love you can still give bad advice. It all goes back to life experience and what they’ve learned from it. You don’t ever want to be perceived as judgmental, but the truth is, when considering whether family advice is good or bad, you have to be. This is your life, and you can’t allow others to live it for you, especially if they’re not that good at it themselves.