A recent discussion on the question-and-answer site Quora posed the initial question, “What valuable lessons can be learned from divorce?”
If you have recently gone through a contested divorce or even an uncontested online divorce, then you know that the dissolution of your marriage will teach you many things. Some things you’ll still be learning several years removed. While some lessons can be painful, humbling, and even shameful, many will make you a better person and more equipped for future relationships.
In that spirit, we’d like to take a look at some of the best lessons learned from the Quora discussion and share some of our own thoughts as well.
Life Goes On
Maybe it’s a cliche, but that doesn’t make it any less true. Life does go on after filing for divorce, whether you want it to or not. The world you wish to avoid will still be there when you decide to rejoin it, and so it’s important to know that even though you may be experiencing pain now, there are tons of great, POSITIVE possibilities awaiting you if you make the decision to move on.
Personal Growth Opportunities
It’s been close to seven years since I finalized my divorce, and after getting through the rough patch, which took about three years, I found happiness like I’d never known at any other time in my life, before, during, and after my first marriage ended. I got there by first focusing on myself. I exercised more, ate healthier, lost weight, made a point of getting out of my shell and pursuing new interests, and also indulged some old ones that had been sitting dusty on a shelf for years. It was an excellent experience and it led me to the arms of my current spouse. Bottom line: if you’re open to growth, then you’ll find it.
Next Time You Marry, Make Sure You And Your Spouse Have The Same Expectations
It could be anything. Expectations from childbearing (and rearing), expectations from each other, expectations on faith, etc. The more you’re on the same page, the easier the marriage will be.
Choose Wisely
Filing divorce papers should make you more discerning with regards to whom you marry and procreate. If children are part of the plan, you don’t want to repeat the same mistakes. That’s why it is important to analyze your divorce and the relationship you had to your former spouse. Don’t recreate the same conditions in a subsequent marriage.
Follow this link for a full read-through of the Quora discussion. It’s well worth your time.