In some marriages, divorce becomes a looming reality. Some couples can sense it right away, even if they try to continually make amends and patch things up; yet some couples know the only permanent fix is a complete separation. Sometimes it can creep up on a couple over the years. Happy at first only to find the fire slowly dwindled to a low burn. This situation describes an amicable divorce, in which couples realize they had their time together and it’s just not working anymore.
The issues leading to a divorce can be central to or outside of the relationship. In all cases though, these forces are real and all married couples will need to address the issues at some point. It’s how a couple handles adversity that dictates the long term success of their union.
Financial Stability
Finances are most common problem in a marriage. Nearly every marriage will face tough financial decisions. Ironically, this is a real world problem that is not part of the romantic relationship. Nevertheless, financial situations constantly tear couples apart because many couples fail to properly discuss the family’s financial situation.
Financial plans and discussions should take place at the beginning or even before the marriage, if the couple has been together for a number of years before making their union official. Talking through the specifics of spending, debt, expenses, and salary information before any trouble happens can allow both spouses to understand just exactly where they stand. Talking about expenses also allows for continuous, open communication, which can help avoid any mistrust, misgivings, or blind ignorance.
Infidelity and Midlife Crises
One of the more obvious reasons cited by divorcing couples, though there are often other underlying reasons for divorce, is infidelity. Ranging from intimacy problems to lack of communication, infidelity can arise from many problems within a relationship. To avoid such a situation from happening, communication seems to be the key, again. Even in some sad cases where couples decide it is better not to stay together, it is at least better for both parties to split than to carry on with lies and cheating.
A midlife crisis can occur when people are not happy with their current situation. In truth, it can happen whether you’re married or not. Often, couples who have been married for ten years or so will hit a rut in their relationship. Midlife crises are more common in men, but can also affect women. Sometimes someone feels they need a change in career, sex life, social life, surroundings, and day-to-day routine in general. This can be a major reason to divorce. Midlife crises are internal and not related directly to the actions of a spouse, so it can be hard to solve as a couple; the old “it’s not you it’s me” can sometimes have a ring of truth to it.
Couples who pledge their lives to one another will face many obstacles when traveling down the road to forever. But sometimes being married makes you both realize it is just not meant to be, through no fault of either spouse. The divorce process is a fact of life. Everyone cannot expect to find their perfect match as they tumble through the constant changes and decisions in their lives. For some, there are clear problems that need to be address; some problems can be worked through to create a happier, more stable relationship. For others, there is no blame or fault in deciding it is best to part ways. Knowing some of the common problems that lead to divorce can help couples properly address the issue in their own marriage.