Many people believe that a physical affair is the impetus for one spouse filing divorce papers against another, but the reality is, extramarital sex never has to occur. Most of the problems that destroy a marriage happen before the offending spouse ever considers a tryst with another person.
Long before one article of clothing is removed outside the marriage bed, a married person can commit to an emotional affair. The underlying factors leading to emotional affairs are indicative of the problems that exist in the marriage.
If you want to avoid this situation, it’s important to know the vitals and how they take shape. Here are five:
No. 1: Inability To Share
If you are finding it easier to share your innermost thoughts, feelings, and desires with a person outside of your spouse, then you’re heading for the divorce forms.
No. 2: Inability To Engage
Maybe you’re on the other end of the spectrum and you’ve noticed that your partner doesn’t share. Analyze yourself. How do you respond to him or her when they share something about their day? Are you being responsive or dismissive?
No. 3: Inability To Ignite
Physical relations are so important to the emotional stability of a marriage. Do you still kiss? Hold hands? Make out? If bedroom activities have become “something you get through” rather than something you look forward to, then you, your partner, or both of you, could be susceptible.
No. 4: Inability To Care
Sometimes resentment can start to set in as you become aware of an emotional affair. By numbing yourself to your partner, it only adds to the chasm between you both.
No. 5: Inability To Fight
Fighting, if done correctly, can be a healthy thing for a marriage. It shows that you’re not guilty of number four, and it allows you to air grievances and resolve differences. Furthermore, if you’re able to fight against each other, that also means you’re capable of fighting for. (Doesn’t mean you will; just that you can.)
In Summary
If you are concerned that an emotional affair will cause you to file for divorce (or be filed against), then examine how you deal with each of the five vitals listed above. Once you know the problem, you can start taking charge.