Children whose parents have decided to file for divorce often get a lot of unwanted sympathy. While the rest of the world feels sorry for them, they tend to be more resilient through the lessons learned from their parents’ split. While it isn’t always true, and children of divorce do undeniably face issues that other children do not, they also know how to bounce back. Here are five of their most common lessons.
1. They learn a lot about conflict negotiation.
While it shouldn’t be this way, it often is. Mom and Dad hate each other, but there are situations where they have to be in the same room at the same time. A child of divorce often feels the need to facilitate a peaceful meeting. This can make them quite adept at conflict negotiation, a skill that can come in very handy later in life.
2. They have more realistic expectations out of a relationship.
Some kids — and yes, even some who are children of divorce — see relationships in an unrealistic manner. They throw the word “forever” around like it’s the easiest thing in the world to achieve. But some children of divorce know better. They understand that Moms and Dads don’t always live in the same house, and that there is no reconciliation. The more insightful ones are very choosy about who they end up marrying or the decision to marry in general because they don’t want to file divorce papers the way their parents did.
3. They can be slower to rush in to relationships.
Statistically speaking, this reluctance to enter into relationships leads to an older age of “settling down,” and this decreases the odds of filing divorce forms because they’re more mature when they make that decision.
4. They learn how to adapt to different rules.
Again, it shouldn’t be this way. In a perfect world, Mom and Dad will be in lockstep on household rules pertaining to the child; however, there is usually little communication and fragmented expectations. A child of divorce learns how to operate in these different environments, and it can make them more versatile professionally later in life.
5. They mature quicker.
Parents who stay together tend to shield their sons and daughters from the dangers, disappointments, and heartaches of the world. This slows the maturing process, for better or worse. Children of divorce learn the hard lessons early, and they mobilize for adulthood sooner as a general rule.
What positive lessons have you seen your children learn throughout the divorce process?