When you decide to file for divorce, you shouldn’t jump right in to it without first taking some steps to lay the groundwork. After all, there are another person’s feelings you’ll have to contend with, and if you have children with that other person, then you’ll have that to consider as well. While prep work may not make it easy, it can make the transition into the process smoother. So before you act, make sure you take these three steps.
1. Try to ‘see’ the divorce before it occurs.
Before ever filling out the divorce papers, take a moment to “see” the divorce ahead of you. What does it look like? What steps will you take first? What issues might cause the most conflict? What do you want to walk away with in the divorce, and what are you willing to compromise on? What will you do to keep your own attitude positive?
2. Determine how you wish to handle it.
When it comes to the divorce forms, there are really only two ways you can handle it — on your own or through the efforts of an attorney. Attorneys are knowledgeable and can help you fight for your best interests, but they can also be expensive and unnecessary if you and your spouse are able to come to terms without conflict. So evaluate your relationship and whether it can stand up to the words, “I want a divorce.” Also, consider how you’re going to pay for the option ahead.
3. List assets and debts.
Typically, the assets and debts that you had before the marriage will be yours when you leave it. If you have an investment that has grown in value since you got married, then half of the growth will be available to your spouse, but what was there when you said, “I do,” remains yours for better or worse. Before approaching your spouse, reexamine your assets and debts to protect your best interests.
Once you’ve taken these steps, you’re ready to address the issue with your spouse and children. Best of luck as you work out the details in your case.