When your spouse tells you that she has decided to file for divorce, it begins the death of the old you and the rebirth into something new. Unfortunately, it’s hard to make that jump without first feeling heartbroken, then angry. While the heartbrokenness is an unavoidable evil, the anger can actually be useful. Here are some tips for channeling your anger into something positive.
1. Take away your spouse’s reasons for rejecting you.
Right or wrong, your spouse did what they did because they fell out of love, and people don’t just fall out of love without some specific reasons. Maybe she wanted to file divorce forms because the marriage was “too boring” or “in a rut.” Use your anger to say, “She thought I was boring,” then go about living the kind of life that is anything but. Your spouse can have all kinds of reasons for walking away, and you should pay attention to them. From there, pick and choose the things that you feel could use some improving, and give it your best. Remember, though: it’s not about changing yourself to meet their standards. It’s about making positive changes for you, period.
2. Work out your aggression through physical wellness.
Your mind already has a goal — get over the divorce. To assist, your body will need one as well. Think about running a marathon, losing some inches around your waist (if you need to), doing yoga, etc. All these factors can help you look and feel better.
3. Advance your career.
A frequent reason that people file divorce papers against their spouse is financial, and unfortunately, so many of us can hit career walls that it becomes difficult to better our situations in this area. But if you resolve to advance your career — going back to school, volunteering for an employee training program, landing a big internship — then you’ll get your swagger back more quickly. Anger can help because it can make you feel motivated.
What has helped you in dealing with anger since the divorce process began? Sound off in our comments section.