Counseling is often an important tool in overcoming the depression that goes along with many cases of divorce. But it’s also one of the last things that many of you want to do. There are a number of reasons why refusing counseling might make sense in the moment, though it really can help to shed those inhibitions and make an appointment. If you are holding out, it’s probably for one of the following reasons.
1. You think it’s a sign of weakness.
This is probably the biggest reason people refuse to get counseling. They believe that going to a professional means they’re admitting some sort of defeat. It’s a sign of weakness to such individuals because, they believe, it shows an inability to handle things on one’s own. And since the U.S. culture places a great deal of value on independence, it only exacerbates this fear.
2. You think it’s too expensive.
Any counseling is better than no counseling, and it’s entirely possible that you will find an affordable fit to your budget, particularly if you go on a limited routine. This is actually preferable if you have some reservations about counseling because it allows you to ease in to the process and get a sense of how it can help before committing to a fuller schedule. Also, if it’s determined that you’re struggling with depression, it could be covered as an essential health benefit of the Affordable Care Act.
3. You think it’s too late to do any good.
Many people decide not to pursue counseling because they believe it’s only necessary to save the marriage. When the divorce papers are signed, however, the need doesn’t go away. In fact, you can make a lot of headway on any personal issues related to the divorce by attending on your own.
How to Change Your Mindset
To get past any of the above 3 reasons — or any others you can think of — it’s important that you stop thinking of divorce as a failure. It is a major life event and one that will change many aspects of your life. To get a grip on what those changes might be — for better or worse — it’s always helpful to have a sounding board and a fresh set of eyes. By thinking of it as a journey instead of a setback and realizing that you’re not alone, you can change your mindset to make room for the positive change counseling can bring to your life.
I have been with my husband for over six years but this is my first marriage I am 41 years old and I just got married jan 12 2015, and and am been going through hell. he has a anger problem when I met him. I recently left him but I came back praying for a change but my love for him is not the same and I am ready to leave but I don’t have anywhere to go. I am always a bitch,hoe,i have something foru threating me we knives and putting me out what am I suppose to do