It’s often uncomfortable to link children to the cause of your divorce. After all, they didn’t ask to be brought in to the world, and they’re often what you make of them. Therefore, it comes across as unfair and disingenuous to put the responsibility on them. However, there are some parenting pressures that can cause one or both parties to consider divorce. These pressures are to be blamed independently of the child. In other words, they just go with the territory, and how deeply they affect the decision is determined by parents themselves. Let’s look at two.
1. Disagreements on Discipline
Disciplining a child is very important to establishing his sense of right and wrong and his ability to take responsibility for his own actions. Most parents understand that avoiding discipline often creates irresponsible children, who grow up to be burdens on society. But that doesn’t mean parents agree on which course of action is best. For example, say one of you isn’t against an open-hand swat to the backside when the child gets out of line, but the other looks at that as a form of abuse. You’re bound to clash. And when you clash in front of the child, you teach your little ones that they can always work Mom and Dad against one another. The resentment grows from there, and before you know it, you’re filing for divorce.
2. Scales of Parenting Are Unbalanced
In previous generations, men went out and earned the living while women stayed home with the kids and assumed most of the parenting responsibilities. That has changed in a big way with women taking on more of a role in the workforce, and many becoming the breadwinners. In the type of situation common today where both Mom and Dad work full-time, the childcare burden has to be split closer to 50-50, give or take. But if one parent is working full-time and assuming most of the parental duties (i.e. discipline, diaper changes, feeding, doctor’s appointments), then it’s only natural that some marriage-killing bitterness might arrive.
Has parenting pressure caused you to consider filing for divorce? What are some that you struggle with and that come between you and your spouse? Sound off in the comments section.